I am just going to be honest. My husband and I got in a big fight tonight. I was condescending, and rude. Marriage is messy. People are broken, and damaged. People are soo mean to each other at times.
There is no one on this earth that I love more than my husband. Yet no one on this earth have I treated as poorly. I don't want to lose the man that I love so much. He has helped me get to were I am today. We have had 10 happy years of marriage. I have shared so many laughs with him, and cried with him in my darkest moments. I cannot let a fight steal our depth. I need to suck it up and say sorry.
Let quit pretending the people we respect are perfect. No one is. I surely am not. That is the key in marriage. We need to accept that we will screw up and own it. Say sorry. Put your pride behind you. I don't care what they did. Just say sorry. Win the relationship not the argument.
Win the relationship not the argument.
So often we are so in the moment that we forget we are talking to the person who means more to us than anything. Take a deep breath, swallow your pride, forget about fair and say sorry. Win the relationship. No one is perfect.
A relationship will grow if there is acceptance, growth and humility. It will die if it is based on pride, and selfishness. We have to be able to let go of what our spouse did wrong.
We need to get so good at forgiveness. Lets face it. We will screw up. It's a two way street. If you both get good at forgiving there is so much room for growth. My mother in law once said to me, "I hope to get sweeter with each passing year." I hope this is true for me too.
If I own my stuff and truly work on it, each year I should be a better wife. I should be more patient, kind and forgiving. I want to be that person but I wont get there if I am stuck in the moment. I need to take a step back and say I want to win the relationship not the argument. I want to be a silly old couple in love but I wont get there unless I am willing to look at myself and take ownership.
Today look at yourself. Quick blaming your spouse. What can you do to improve your marriage? Win the relationship not the argument. Be that silly old couple someday that inspires people.
We can do this.