RELATIONSHIP WORKSHEET

I recommend filling this worksheet out for any single person. Thinking about these things ahead of time will protect you from the hurt and pain that can come from being in a bad relationship. Who you choose to date matters. Take some time to prepare and protect yourself. 

MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS FOR PERSON I DATE:

BOUNDARIES I DO NOT WANT TO CROSS:

WARNING SIGNS OF AN UNSAFE PERSON:

REASONS TO END A RELATIONSHIP:

CONSEQUENCES OF STAYING IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP:

REASONS I WILL BE OK IF I END AN RELATIONSHIP:

5 Ways to Shape Behavior

Shaping Procedures:
Shaping means you are gradually building up to your end goal behavior. There are many methods of doing that. Here are some examples.


 Differential Reinforcement of Higher Rates of Behavior (DRH) 
With DRH you pick a target behavior to increase. You are reinforcing the increase in this positive target behavior. The goal is this behavior will be happening so often that there is not time for the child to do the undesirable behavior. You should see an increase in the positive behavior and at the same time a decrease in the negative behavior.

 Differential Reinforcement of Lower Rates of Behavior (DRL) 
With DRL you are rewarding a child when his negative target behavior is happening less often.
For example:
Week 1: "You pooped your pants 3 times this week instead of 5? Great job. Here is a candy bar."
Week 2: "You pooped your pants 2 times this week instead of 3? Great job. Here is a candy bar."

Differential Reinforcement of Other Behavior (DRO) 
With DRO reinforcement is given only if the target behavior does not happen during a certain period of time.
Ex: "You did not poop your pants at school?" Great job. Here is a candy bar."


 Differential Reinforcement of Alternative Behavior (DRA) 
With DRA reinforcement is given when a child uses a more appropriate behavior in place of the target negative behavior.
Ex: A child asks nicely for food instead of demanding mom to get him the food for him.

 Differential Reinforcement of Incompatible Behavior (DRI) 
With DRI you are reinforcing when a child does a positive behavior that is incompatible with the target negative behavior.
Ex: If you are trying to decrease running the child gets reinforced when they are sitting, coloring, or reading a book. Non compatible behaviors get reinforced.

Choices and Chains

We always have a choice. Most of us, including me forget that choice. We feel that we are in chains to certain things. Just yesterday I threw out some chocolate because I felt like I didn't have a choice but to eat it if it was in my house. It was as if I didn't realize despite my desire (albeit strong) I could still say no.

Admit it. You are chained by something too. It might be chocolate. It might be caffeine. It might be something more serious. Maybe your chains are an abusive relationship that you feel you cannot get out of. Maybe your chains are drugs and alcohol. Maybe your chain is you just cannot help being a jerk.

Well there are three truths here.
1. You can ALWAY choose.
2. It might be REALLY difficult.
3. No matter how difficult you ARE CAPABLE of that change.

There comes a point when you have to accept that you are not the victim and it's time to make a choice. Are you going to stay in this relationship and endure the abuse or are you going to leave. Are you scared for your safety? Are you afraid you cannot make it on your own? You still have a choice. The human mind and body is capable of incredible feats when determined.

IF THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY!

Once you have accepted that you are determined to do something at ALL costs you can succeed. Every time you struggle or fail, you adapt. You get help. You make plans. You figure out how to protect yourself from the temptation.

You are NEVER stuck. There is ALWAYS a way.

You might be thinking, "You don't know my situation." My response to that is keep looking for ideas! If you feel stuck and cannot think of any other way to get out seek help! There is always a way if you look hard enough. I am not promising it will be easy. You might feel discourage, depressed or even suicidal as you go through it, but it's worth the fight. You will never regret the battle unless you give up.

NEVER GIVE UP!

How do you think hardcore drug addicts feel when they decide to give up their drug of choice. The withdrawal has severe side effects. Yet with determination and support many people have recovered from EXTREMELY DIFFICULT situations. You can too. No matter what your situation is, your can choose.

What kind of choice do you need to make today?