1. It is hard to change so you need to be dedicated and serious about making this change.
2. No one can do it for you.
Lets look what needs to happen to manage anger.
1. You need to be able to identify your triggers. If you know what sets you off you can plan for it and prevent it. Prevention is easier that responding afterwards.
2. You need to know how to calm yourself down once you get there.
Some techniques include but are not limited to:
· Deep breathing
Deep breathing is often the keep to calming down and refocusing. Taking a few deep breaths can calm your nerves enough to manage your emotions.
· Going to a “happy place”
When breathing and counting isn't enough sometimes thinking of a peaceful place will do the trick to calm you down.
Mantras can be helpful when you need to convince yourself it is worth it to say no to your anger. Telling yourself things like "I don't want to hurt people.", "I want to stay out of jail.", or "I don't want to lose this relationship." can help you refocus and regain the strength to tell yourself no.
· Leaving the scene until you are calm.
Sometimes we just need to walk away and calm down before it escalates into something bad. This has been the key for many people in managing their anger.
· Anger out peace in breathing
Take a deep breath in a picture inhaling peace into your body and then take a deep breath out imagining breathing the anger out as if it is leaving your body. This can help you calm and make you feel like you have the strength to manage this.
Praying "God help me please!" is often enough to get through your outrage. People often report their faith or belief in a high power is what got them through difficult life changes.
When we obsess about what is making us angry it often grows. Focusing on something else will help us to focus that energy else where so it does not grow.
3. Remember the rules of conflict resolution.
Stick to the problem at hand.
Get on the same side of the argument. Work toward a solution.
Don't be a mind reader and don't expect your partner to be either.
Do not move on until you have resolved the conflict.
Avoid name calling or blaming.
Win the relationship not the argument.
Apologize for something at the end of an argument if need be.