Sunday, January 27, 2013
How to Deal with Valid Anxiety
Ok so no one likes anxiety. What if you have legit anxiety in your life and you don't want to have a nervous break down? Just this week I talked with some one who will remain homeless until some unknown date when his disability gets processed and approved. That is a valid reason to be anxious. Another person I talked to has muscle spasms so bad he blacks out at random times that he cannot predict. That is another valid reason to be stressed. Maybe you have to send your kids to a verbally abusive ex. That's a good reason to be anxious.
So what do with do with this anxiety when it is REAL?
1. Recognize that it is real and valid to be worried about.
2. Talk to someone about it.
3. Look and look and look for the silver lining. (It really does help!)
4. Look for what is good and enjoyable in your life. Do your best to think about that.
5. Meet your basic needs. Eat, and sleep well.
6. Write it out, sing it out, or art project it out! Get it out in some expressive way.
7. Exercise on a regular basis.
8. Do your best to plan around it to minimize it's negative effects on your life.
9. Find something else to focus on and find value in. Distract yourself.
Those nine steps are backed in research. They help. They can help you if you really try them. It's hard to get rid of anxiety but it is miserable to live with it. Commit to these steps and you will see a reduction in your anxiety. If you do not talk with a counselor and/or a doctor.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Self-Esteem
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Revitalize Counseling Services New London location is moving offices.
Revitalize Counseling Services's (RCS), New London location is moving offices. RCS was at 1513 Pinewood Lane, New London, WI, but as of 1/21/13 counseling
sessions will be at 103 WN Water St New London. This is the city hall building across
the street from Familiar Grounds. Go in the main entrance and knock on the 1st
door on the left. This move also means expanded
hours and more flexibility. Call if you have any questions about the new
location.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Coping with a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) deals with more than just
the person with the disorder. A big part of this disorder has to do with how a person handles relationships. So that means if you love someone with BPD, you most likely experience some challenging behavior patterns. Many people with BPD manage it very well and you would never know they have it, but some people have it more severely. Those people's symptoms are much easier to see.
Common symptoms of BPD include:
Common symptoms of BPD include:
- Strong fears of real or imagined abandonment
- Low self esteem
- Chronic feelings of emptiness
- Inappropriate or unnecessarily strong emotional responses
- Emotional unpredictable
- Impulsiveness
- A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships
If someone you love has BPD please understand that much of this disorder is based in fear and insecurity. They are not trying to make your life hard or be difficult. They will often see insult and rejection where there isn't any. Because of this they may respond extremely emotionally. A person with BPD has an exaggerated fear of abandonment. To them this emotional response seems rational because their fear is very real to them.
Showing some one with BPD empathy and patience can go a long way in calming their fears. Do not respond emotionally to their exaggerated fears or this could make matters worse. Keeping your emotions in check will help. Preparing yourself mentally that they are likely to be emotional can help you respond better in the moment.
Set boundaries to help protect yourself. BPDabout.com (2013) suggests, "You may decide that you will not tolerate your loved one telling you that they hate you, and that if they do that you will need to take a break from communicating with them for a predetermined amount of time. Communicate your expectations about this.It is also important to set good boundaries and not become so involved in your loved one’s struggles that your own health suffers."
So to conclude, be understanding, patient, and calm. This pared with good boundaries should improve your relationship with your loved one. If this isn't enough don't be afraid to get relationship counseling from a professional.
Showing some one with BPD empathy and patience can go a long way in calming their fears. Do not respond emotionally to their exaggerated fears or this could make matters worse. Keeping your emotions in check will help. Preparing yourself mentally that they are likely to be emotional can help you respond better in the moment.
Set boundaries to help protect yourself. BPDabout.com (2013) suggests, "You may decide that you will not tolerate your loved one telling you that they hate you, and that if they do that you will need to take a break from communicating with them for a predetermined amount of time. Communicate your expectations about this.It is also important to set good boundaries and not become so involved in your loved one’s struggles that your own health suffers."
So to conclude, be understanding, patient, and calm. This pared with good boundaries should improve your relationship with your loved one. If this isn't enough don't be afraid to get relationship counseling from a professional.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
The Secret to Changing Someone's Life
Hope is powerful. Hope is life giving.
If you hold hope inside you that implies:
1. you have a goal for the future
2. you think you can achieve it
3. you have some level of motivation to get there
When people lack hope that implies:
1. you do not believe your situation can get better
2. you do not believe you have control over your circumstances
3. you cannot see a solution insight therefore you are unmotivated to change
A person without hope is at risk for suicidal behaviors. At times when people are in a difficult situation the emotions are so overwhelming that it's hard to see through the pain. Often it takes an outside person to show them where the hope is. For some people they need a reminder that the pain is temporary. Others need to be reminded that they are strong and have successfully been through hard times before. Some people just need help making a plan and seeing the path that leads them out of their painful situation.
We are all capable of more than we realize. Having a person who can remind us of that can be the catalyst we need to re-install hope. Be that person for someone. No matter how bad your situation is you still have something to offer someone else. There is always hope. We just can't always see it on our own.
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