Grandparent
age people are divorcing more than ever now. So what are the consequences of couples divorcing at this age?
Well the
research states that divorce causes distress for parents, children and
grandchildren of any age.
·
Infants cannot understand the reasons why, but
do feel the emotional tension in the home. This often displays in irritability,
and change in eating or sleeping habits.
·
Toddlers can become more clingy or needy when
stress increases in the home. This can also be expressed in anger toward
parents or siblings that appear to be unrelated to the source of stress. It is
common for developmental regression to happen. For example, a child who is potty
trained might start having accidents, or a child might start to suck her thumb
again. Sleeping may become difficult and
nightmares could even occur.
·
Preschool and elementary-age children often blame themselves, and have
increased anxiety about how their roles will change. For example, they may
worry about if they will see Grandma and Grandpa, or if their grandparents will
still love them. They may also have nightmares and sleeping problems. It is common for children this age to become
aggressive and angry toward parents, grandparents, and siblings under this kind
of stress.
·
Teens may express their struggles by
withdrawing from friends, family and special interests. They may feel driven to
take care of one or both of their grandparents. They may start to question
their own beliefs about marriage, divorce and relationships. At times they may
act out by doing rebellious activities such as drinking, drugs, sexual
activity, swearing or aggression.
·
Young Adults children of divorced parents often
respond stronger than people would think.
Expecting your adult children to take it in stride might not be
realistic. This can completely change the relational dynamics. Children’s
worldviews can be challenged by this, they might start to question their
childhood memories, and they might even struggle with guilt. “My parents said
they stayed together all those years because of me.” Adult children might view the situation as
not just their parents separating, but rather that they are “losing their
family”.
·
Age 30+- An interesting dynamic that happens
with parents divorcing with adult children, is the parents often heavily depend
on the children to transition through the divorce. Parents can forget that
their children are grieving too and see how capable they are and rely on them
to do things that their spouses used to do. This can become a tremendous stress
to adult children.
·
Parents divorcing in the 50+ age bracket face
their own special adjustment problems. They often have family and friends that
are 20 to 30 year-long friendships that are discontinued due to the divorce.
They may have habits or activities that they never had to learn how to do
because their spouse did it, and now they are forced to learn how. These issues
can be very difficult to adjust to.
·
Severity of symptoms will greatly vary
in all ages based on the situation.
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