Saturday, September 22, 2012

Relationship Stress Test



RELATIONSHIP TEST  Adapted from Dr. Phil McGraw’s Relationship Rescue

1.  Do you or your partner hold a grudge after an argument?  YES OR NO

2.  Do you or your partner frequently keep your feelings bottled up?  YES OR NO

3.  Do normal discussions often turn into big arguments?  YES OR   NO

4.  In an argument is name-calling used?  YES OR NO

5.  Do you or your partner want to win the argument more than the relationship?  For example, do you fight to be right?  YES OR NO

6.  Do you dread spending time with your partner?  YES OR NO

7.  Do you or your partner withhold affection from your partner as a punishment?  YES OR NO

8.  Do you or your partner avoid talking about serious issues?  YES OR NO

9.  Have you given up on trying to meet the needs of your partner?  YES OR NO

10. Are you filling the emotional void left by your relationship with other people and activities?  YES OR NO

11. Do your arguments end with one or both of you feeling worse?  YES OR NO

12. Do you or your partner feel “defensive” when you’re together?  YES OR NO

13. Do you often feel stuck in your relationship?  YES OR NO

14. Do you feel your partner doesn’t understand you?  YES OR NO

15. Do you often feel angry or frustrated with your partner?  YES OR NO

16. Do you feel your partner doesn’t appreciate you?  YES OR NO

17. Do you often feel lonely in your relationship?  YES OR NO

18. Do you keep score if your relationship? If they aren't nice to you you wont be nice to them.  YES OR NO

19. Do you feel negative about your future together?  YES OR NO

20. Do you feel like your best is never good enough for your partner?  YES OR NO

TOTAL NUMBER OF QUESTIONS ANSWERED YES = __________

SCORING:
0 to 4    Good relationship, rare stress
5 to 10  Relationship needs work, occasional exposure to stress
11 to 15  Seriously troubled, frequent stress
16 to 20   Relationship is damaged and is in need of a major change

2 comments:

  1. What kind of changes need to be made when in the higher categories? How do you know if/when you need to give up and try something new

    ReplyDelete
  2. Without knowing you or your situation I would recommend starting with the two links below. The first one is rules for conflict resolution that would be important/peace producing to follow.
    The 2nd one is an assessment for love languages. Once you know what each others love languages are it is easier to meet each others needs.

    Any time there is high levels of stress in a relationship something needs to change.If you try something new and its not working then it's ok to change it up again until you find something that works.

    Questions to ask yourself before you give up on a relationship:
    1. Do I understand the consequence of divorce and the damage it will cause?
    2. Is my current relationship causing more damage to my family than ending the relationship would?
    3. 1 year...5 years.... from now would I regret leaving this person?
    4. Can I honestly say I have tried everything?
    5. Have I sought wise counsel?

    http://www.revitalizecounselingservices.com/2011/12/conflict-resolution.html
    http://www.revitalizecounselingservices.com/2012/01/5-love-languages-assessment.html

    ReplyDelete