Do you have stuff-esteem or self-esteem? I have to admit I am guilty of having stuff-esteem at times. What I mean by this is when we get our self-confidence from the stuff that we do instead who we are on the inside. For example my self-esteem sometimes suffers when I think I am not thin enough, I don’t make enough money or I do not dress nice enough. When your self-esteem is based on exterior things, you never actually have “self-esteem”. Really what you have is stuff-esteem.
The problem with this theory of looking at your value is it is very fragile. When you lose your job, gain weight, or have some other slip up in life you completely lose your confidence. This is dangerous.
It is time to reframe how we look at ourselves.
Step 1: Look at yourself on this inside. What is good about you? Are you honest, hardworking, loyal, creative…?
Step 2: When you feel low remind yourself exterior stuff isn’t what really matters and does not define you. Reminder yourself of the good things about you that are lasting.
Step 3: If you have things about yourself that you do not like make a plan to change them. Do not be content with your flaws, and then celebrate your growth.
Step 4: Do things that accentuate your strengths.
An example of a self-esteem building activity is I decided I am some one that isn’t afraid to face a challenge or my fears. To prove that to myself I signed up of the Tough Mudder. The Tough Mudder is a mud filled, 12 mile, military style obstacle course. The obstacles include jumping from heights into water, jumping into ice water, crawling through dark tunnels and many other challenges. In this 12 mile race there were 24 obstacles to face my fears. I completed the entire race with my brother and my friend. Afterwards I felt amazing and I now have this memory to look back on to remind myself of who I am.
These kinds of activities create powerful memories to remind you who you are on the inside. Sometimes in life we go through the motions and we forget to act on who we really are. When we live life this way we miss living a satisfying, self-esteem filled life. When you question if you are a good person or not you need to give yourself evidence of what is in the inside. If you are lacking evidence, look inside and see what is good, then act on it!