Sunday, May 20, 2012

How to Have Great Sex

Our early sexual experiences shape the way we view sex for the rest of our lives. Mark Gungor calls it “imprinting”.  How you imprint can really help your sex life or it can damage it severely. We all desire to have great sex someday. Lucky for us, there is now research on how to do that. 

Imprinting scenario one: a man who imprinted on lust and sex alone. 
The following is a quote from Mark describing a person that had their first sexual experience based in lust not love:
    Now (possibly for the rest of his life) he is likely to view sex in the context of “lust” and “naughtiness”. This is the man who will constantly be pushing his wife to try some outrageous new behavior, take sexual risks or constantly role-play – all in an attempt of re-living that experience that has had such a profound impact on his psyche. 
Scenario number two: a man who imprinted on the girl he loved.
Now take a man and a woman who have their first sexual experience in the context of love and marriage. They wait until their wedding day to have sex. Sex becomes a deep expression of their commitment and love for each other. In this scenario the man “imprints” on the woman, not the sexual experience itself.

If a man imprints on the lust or sex any woman will do. In scenario number two the man associates sex with this woman he “imprinted” on. He does not have eyes for other woman. This piece alone will improve his sex life tenfold.  When a woman feels as if she is the only woman in the world to her man, her sexual responsiveness will skyrocket.

Men often feel sexual urges and fall into porn to meet their needs. They feel that this will satisfy their needs. Unfortunately porn is like a drug that will never satisfy. The more you have it, the more you want it. Soft core porn become too tame and no longer meets your needs, so you go deeper, and on it goes. Porn can be so consuming that you can develop a sexual disorder from repeated porn exposure / masturbation. With this disorder you will NOT be able to experience ejaculation while having sex with a woman. Men, like an athlete, can actually train their bodies to only ejaculate to porn and masturbation. These men traded in real woman and real sex for fantasy and their hand.

What to do with this information:

1. Now what do you do with this information if you have already had your first sexual experience? REPROGRAM YOUR BRAIN. FOCUS ON THE GIRL. Try for one month to give up porn and lusting after women. Only focus on your wife. When you feel thoughts creeping in, distract yourself. Commit to only thinking about your wife sexually for one month. In one short month you should start seeing benefits in your sex life.
Women who are reading this: be open to your husband’s sexual advances. A sexually satisfied man is going to resist porn and temptation a 1000 times easier than a man that hasn’t gotten any in 3 weeks. Communicate about your sexual wants and needs!

2. Those of you who have not yet had your first sexual experience! WAIT! Do it right so you don’t have to struggle through the long road of recovery. If you want good satisfying sex, do not masturbate or have multiple partners. Wait for marriage so you can imprint on your wife. Then you can enjoy the benefits of your hard work the rest of your life. Masturbating leads to ejaculating as fast as possible. It is hard to satisfy a woman if you can only last 1-2 minutes. Couples that wait for marriage divorce at a fraction of the percentage compared to the rest of the world. 

For more information on this topic please visit Mark Gungor’s website:

Now every couple is different and there could be a lot of potential issues to work through, especially if there is past sexual abuse in the picture. This is a complicated topic. Do not be ashamed or afraid to seek help. It is worth it when you are on the other side of recovery. 

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