Do you wish you had more friends? Do you seldom have plans? You are not alone in feeling this way. Millions of people report being lonely and wishing they had more friends. This is a common reason for depression and anxiety. Research studies support that people with strong personal communities have better health. We were designed to have friends. So if you are struggling with this, let’s look at some possible reasons why.
- Do you push people away by accident? Some people have a hard time opening up and others interpret this as a rejection and stay away. Being open about your life makes people feel like you trust them and then are more comfortable with you.
- Do you assume insult before it happens? Some people carry insecurity that is so strong that they get insulted unnecessarily. People like this have a hard time having close friends because they are quick to assume people don’t like them or think ill of them.
- Are you trust worthy? If you cannot keep people’s personal information private, people will be hesitant to share with you. You need to be a safe person to open to, if you want people to share their life with you.
- Do you put effort into meeting people? It is hard to make friends if you never leave your house or if you are never around people.
- Do you accept invitations to social events? Often times people have very specific conditions for which they will socialize and if those aren’t met, they will not go out. That is ok until they feel lonely because those opportunities don’t come up much.
So to conclude: if you are feeling lonely try opening up, ignoring insecurity, and keeping people’s secrets. Get out of the house and go places where people are. Join a club, a church, volunteer or get a job where you can meet people. Once you do get an invitation to socialize be flexible. Don’t let your fears keep you from being happy. If these tips aren’t enough to help do not be afraid to see a counselor. Social skills can be taught. I have been teaching social skills since 2006. Just remember no matter where you are at. You do not have to be lonely. Seek help.