Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Are You Hiding?




Are you faking it? What emotions are you covering up? What is it you are trying to hide? Some people feel the need to “fake it”. They fake at work, to their friends and even to their family. This typically results in isolation and no other person actually knowing and accepting them. Many people have been hurt in the past and have learned that trusting people isn't safe. For some there is a big underlining fear that,

“If people knew the real me, they would reject me.”

“If people knew what happened to me they would be uncomfortable.”

“I just don’t want anyone to know how depressed I am. I want people to think I have it all together.”

Or

“I can’t show how I really feel. People don’t care.”

Each mind set has the underlining fear of rejection. While your fears are valid and there is a chance of being rejected if you act real, your chances of rejection are higher by faking it. Ironically people encourage being rejected by putting on a show. People value authenticity and can sense when someone isn’t. Often our actions caused by insecurity, lead to our fears actually happening. For example if you are uncomfortable in a social situation, you might start withdrawing and even act awkward. This often leads to being/feeling like an outcast, confirming your initial fear. My challenge for you today is to deny the urge to hide and just be real. See if you actually get rejected. Perhaps you just might connect.  Your chances will certainly go up. 

If you are having a difficult time trusting people counseling can help you to heal from that. Don't be afraid to reach out. Some people have been hurt deeply by someone they loved and trusted. Healing from a wound like that can be difficult and often times takes help. The good news is you can learn to trust and have meaningful relationships again. There is hope. 

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