Do you feel like your child is the boss? This is a common occurrence in many homes but unfortunately this often leads to bad behavior and insecurity in children. When parents provide consistent boundaries for their children, children feel secure and confident. Transitioning from children being the boss to parents being the boss can be stressful but the benefits are worth it.
How to get your children to listen:
· Give your instruction
o ex-put away your toys
· With hold reinforcements until task is completed
o Ex: no snacks, toys, tv or any fun thing until the child completes the desired action
If your child screams, hits, kicks or does any other undesirable behavior make sure you are not reinforcing it by allowing it to be effective. If your child yells and screams and then you give them what they want, they are likely to do that behavior again.
What to do when a child disobeys or breaks a rule:
· When a child disobeys determine the severity of the action and assign chores accordingly
o Ex: child lies- child has to scrub the kitchen floor and no reinforcements until task is complete
o Ex: child skips school- child has to sweep drive way, organize the closet and clean the car and they may not socialize, eat snacks, have electronics, or anything fun until task is complete (no reinforcements)
Be prepared for children to challenge you on this if they are not used to you being this assertive. It is important you follow through with this. It will not be effective if you are inconsistent. Remember it will be stressful at first but once your children understand this is the new normal and boundaries are clear, your home will be more at peace. With this method there is no need to ever raise your voice or argue. The rules are black and white.